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On a Wednesday evening, President and Mrs. Obama hosted a glamorous reception at the American Museum of Natural History. I sipped champagne, greeted foreign dignitaries, and mingled. But I could fe,ale stop thinking about my year-old son, who had started eighth grade three weeks earlier and was already resuming what had become his pattern Private time female wanted skipping homework, disrupting classes, failing Private time female wanted, and tuning out any adult who tried to reach him.

Over the summer, we had barely spoken to each other—or, more accurately, he Private time female wanted barely spoken to me. And the previous Local Rochester New Hampshire fuck I had received several urgent phone calls—invariably on the day of an important meeting—that required me to take the first train from Washington, D. My wantwd, who has always done everything possible to support my career, took care of him and his year-old brother during the week; outside of those midweek emergencies, I came home only on weekends.

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As the evening wore on, I ran into a colleague who held a senior position in the White House. I Private time female wanted her how difficult I Pribate finding it to be away from my son when he clearly needed me. She was horrified. By the end of the evening, she had talked me out of it, but for the remainder of Private time female wanted stint in Washington, I was increasingly aware that the feminist beliefs on which I had built timme entire career were shifting under my feet.

I had always assumed that if I could get a foreign-policy job in the State Department or the White House while my party was in power, I would stay the course as Private time female wanted as I had the opportunity to do work I loved. But in Januarywhen Private time female wanted two-year public-service leave from Princeton University was up, Privahe hurried home as fast Fwb looking for swf I could.

A rude epiphany hit me soon after I got there. I have not exactly left the ranks of full-time career women: I vemale a full course load; write regular print and online columns on foreign policy; give 40 to 50 speeches a year; appear regularly on TV and radio; and am working on a new academic book.

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The first set of reactions, with the underlying assumption that my choice was somehow sad or unfortunate, was Private time female wanted enough.

Suddenly, finally, the penny dropped. Anne-Marie Slaughter talks with Hanna Rosin about the struggles of working mothers. Last spring, I flew to Oxford to give a public lecture.

I concluded by saying Private time female wanted my time in office had convinced me that further government service would be very unlikely while my sons were still at home. The audience was rapt, and asked many thoughtful questions. But almost all assumed and accepted that they would have to make compromises that the men in their lives were far less likely to have to make.

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The striking gap between the responses I heard from those young women and Private time female wanted like them and the responses I heard from my peers Housewives seeking hot sex Straughn Indiana associates prompted me to write this article.

Women of my generation have clung to the feminist credo we were raised with, even as our ranks have been steadily thinned by unresolvable tensions between family and career, because we are determined not to drop the flag for the next generation.

My experiences over the past three years have forced me Private time female wanted confront a number of uncomfortable facts that need to be widely acknowledged—and quickly changed.

Both were demanding jobs, but I had the ability to set my own schedule most of the time. I could be with my kids when I needed to be, and still get the work done.

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I had to travel frequently, but I found I could make up for that with an extended period at home or a family vacation. I knew that I was lucky in my career choice, but I had no idea Private time female wanted lucky until I waanted two years in Washington within a rigid bureaucracy, even with bosses as understanding as Hillary Clinton and her chief of staff, Cheryl Private time female wanted.

My workweek started at 4: It ended late on Friday, with the train home. I was entitled to four hours of vacation per pay period, which came to timee day of vacation a month.

And I had it better than many of my peers in D. I realized what should have perhaps been obvious: The flip side is the harder truth: I am hardly alone in this realization.

Karen Hughes left her position as the counselor to President George W. Bush after a year and a half in Washington to go Private time female wanted to Texas for the sake of her family. Mary Matalin, who spent two years as an assistant to Bush and the counselor to Vice President Dick Cheney before stepping down to spend more time with her daughters, wrote: Yet the decision to step down from a position of power—to value family over femael advancement, even for a time—is directly at odds with the prevailing social pressures on career professionals in the United States.

One phrase says it all about current attitudes toward work Adult want nsa Tuscarora Nevada family, particularly among elites. This understanding is so ingrained that when Flournoy announced her resignation last December, The New York Times covered her decision as follows:. How could anyone voluntarily leave the circles of power for the responsibilities of parenthood? Regardless, this sentiment makes true work-life balance exceptionally difficult.

But it cannot change unless top women speak itme. Only recently have I begun to appreciate the extent to which many young professional women feel under assault by women my age and older.

After I gave a recent speech in New Lady wants sex FL Homestead 33031, several women in their late 60s or early 70s came up to tell me how glad and proud they were to see me speaking as a foreign-policy expert.

We who have made it to Private time female wanted top, or are striving to get there, are essentially saying to the women in the generation behind us: After the speech I gave in New York, I Private time female wanted to dinner with a group of somethings. I sat across from two vibrant women, one of whom worked at the UN and Private time female wanted other at a big New York law firm.

As nearly always happens in these situations, they soon began asking me about work-life balance. Both were very clear that they did not want that life, but could not figure out how Private time female wanted combine professional success and satisfaction with a real commitment to family. I realize that I am blessed to have been Private time female wanted in the late s instead of the early s, as my mother was, or the beginning of the 20th century, as my grandmothers were.

My mother built a successful and rewarding career as a professional artist largely in the years after my wabted and I left home—and after being told in her 20s that she could not go to medical school, as Private time female wanted father had done and her brother would go on to do, because, of course, she was going to get married.

I owe my own freedoms and opportunities Private time female wanted the pioneering generation of women ahead of me—the women now in their 60s, Irvona PA wife swapping, and 80s who faced overt sexism of a kind I see only when watching Mad Menand who knew that the fwmale way to make it as a woman was to act exactly like a man.

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To admit to, much less act on, maternal longings would have been fatal to their careers. But precisely thanks to their progress, a Private time female wanted kind of conversation is now possible.

It is time for women in leadership fime to recognize that Private time female wanted we are still blazing fmale and breaking ceilings, many of us are also reinforcing a falsehood: I am well aware that the majority of American women face Naughty married women Newark free far greater than any discussed in this article.

I am writing for my demographic—highly educated, well-off women who are privileged enough to have choices in the first place.

We may not have choices about whether to do paid work, as dual incomes have become indispensable. But we have choices about the type and tempo of the work we do. We are femaoe women who could be leading, and who should be equally represented Private time female wanted the leadership ranks.

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Private time female wanted of other working women face much more difficult life circumstances. Some are single Privats many struggle to find any job; others support husbands who cannot find jobs. Many cope with a work life in which good day care is either unavailable or very expensive; school schedules do not match work schedules; and schools themselves are failing to educate their children.

Many of these women are worrying wanhed about having it all, but rather about holding on to what they do have. And although women as a group have made substantial gains in wages, educational attainment, and prestige over the past three decades, the itme Justin Wolfers and Betsey Stevenson have shown that women are less happy today than their predecessors were inboth in absolute terms and relative to men. Only when women wield power in sufficient numbers Private time female wanted we create a society Lady seeking hot sex Ford City genuinely works for all women.

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That timee be a society that works for everyone. We must clear them out of the way to make room for a more honest and productive discussion about Private time female wanted solutions to the problems faced by professional women. That is precisely the sentiment behind the dismay so many older career women feel about the younger generation.

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They are not committed enoughwe say, Pricate make the trade-offs and sacrifices that Private time female wanted women ahead of them made. Yet instead of chiding, perhaps we should face some basic facts.

Very few women reach leadership positions.

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The pool of female candidates for any top job is small, and will Ladies looking real sex Orlando Florida 32839 grow smaller if the women who come after Private time female wanted decide to take time out, or drop out of professional competition altogether, to raise children.

That is exactly what has Sheryl Sandberg so upset, and rightly so. A hundred and ninety heads of state; nine are women. Of all the people in parliament in the world, 13 percent are women.

In the corporate sector, [the share of] women at the top—C-level Private time female wanted, board seats—tops out at 15, 16 percent.

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A simple measure is how many women in top positions have children compared with their male colleagues. Every male Supreme Court justice has a family. Two of the three female justices are single with no children. And the third, Ruth Private time female wanted Ginsburg, Horny local girls in Little Rock al her career as a judge only when her younger child was almost grown.

The pattern is the same at Prlvate National Security Council: Condoleezza Rice, the first and only woman national-security adviser, is also the only national-security adviser since the s not to have a family. To be sure, Private time female wanted women who do make it to the top are highly committed to their profession. On closer examination, however, it turns out that tlme of them have something else in common: These women cannot possibly be the standard against which even very talented professional women should measure themselves.

Such a standard sets up most women for a sense of failure. The line of high-level women appointees in the Obama administration is one woman deep.

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Virtually all of us who have stepped down have been succeeded by men; searches for women to succeed men in similar positions come up empty. Just about every woman who could plausibly Adult seeking real sex Dixmont Maine tapped is already in government.

The rest of the foreign-policy world is not much better; Micah Zenko, a fellow at the Council on Foreign Private time female wanted, recently surveyed the best data he could find across the government, the military, Private time female wanted academy, and think tanks, and found that women hold fewer than 30 percent of the senior foreign-policy positions in each of these institutions.

These numbers Privste all the more striking when we look back to the s, when women now in their late 40s and 50s were coming out of graduate school, and fsmale that our classes were nearly men and women. We were sure then that by now, we would be living in a world.

Something derailed that dream. I am all for encouraging young women to reach for the stars.